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Answers by Sewella: - Yes I am. I live each day as an out person in every aspect of my life, I do not hide any part of myself.
- Yes I was in the closet until I was 27.
- I came out of
the closet when I was in treatment. It opened all those closed doors inside of me and that was one door that opened.
It was not planned, or forced, it just happened as I had feelings come up for a woman in the treatment facility with me and
she knew that she was feeling them too. So I went out on a limb and pursued that.
- I am out to everyone under the sun…I am out to anyone that I know or even I don’t know.
- I am so very happy out of the closet, because I can live my life without worrying that anyone will
find out, that I am not looking over my shoulder and that I am at peace with myself and my Creator about it.
- Come out and experience freedom
to be who you are…
Answers by Emile: 1. Am I out of the closet ... Yes, I suppose I am.
I came out of the closet when I was in my early teens to my sister during a walk all over our reserve, well ... it's not that
large a reserve so it was not that long of a walk or talk. I told her I was gay and she told me she always knew …
wonder why people you tell your gay to always say that … that they always knew?
2.Was I ever in the closet?
Not really, I didn’t even know what that meant while I was supposedly in the closet … by the time I found out
… I had come out. The idea of being in the ‘closet’ can mean quite a lot, did I openly proclaim my
homosexuality to everyone on the reserve … no. Why? I was not actively looking for someone to be with at the
time and so there was no reason to proclaim anything. I was gay, I told my family and people knew I was gay …
at the time, the closet wasn’t much of a choice offered to me.
3.As I said earlier, I was in my early
teens and no, it was neither planned or forced. A relative, an uncle, told my mother I was gay at the time I was telling
my sisters and so I suppose you could say it was forced but as I was going to tell her in a few days, it just saved me some
time. I am sure he did not tell her in order to save me this time, being of the sort of person he is, a person afraid
of homosexuality, the very idea of homosexual acts minus the love, I thought, can you expect any other act out of people like
him. I don’t mind the rain when I don’t have an umbrella, the wind messes up my hair when I don’t
have an elastic to hold it back or when something happens that I have no control over, do you think about it much? No, never.
4.The entire world, I am not out to the entire world minus my family, and people that I know personally. That’s
Billions and billions of people that do not know that I am gay … *shudder* boy, am I way behind in my emails.
On the other hand, it saves a fortune on postage and X-Mass cards.
5. Happiness is a state of mind, or so the quote
goes, and if that is true, yes, I am happier out of the closet … simply because the closet I might have come out of
is way up north about 30 + years ago, and it totally lacked running water, electricity, cable tv, and of course my all
time favorite … indoor plumbing … (it’s gonna be big!). The positives that came from it …
I met someone wonderful and we spent a lot of time together, learning from one another, adapting to one another’s feelings
… the best time I ever had. I also began a journey that I am still on today, as a 2-Spirited man, I use the term
2-Spirted ubiquitously here, as it is the accepted imagery of who we are … descriptive imagery … *chuckle*
yes, it is what has hit the tipping point to depict all that we are in a nice neat phrase.
6. What would I recommend?
A good book, a movie, some music … perhaps dinner at a really nice restaurant. Read a book on coming out of the closet
if your into reading, perhaps if you enjoyed the book, you will read some more, pick up some fiction and read about the imaginary
lives of other gay people. Compare then, you to them. If not, see a movie, find a good movie, personally I loved
the ‘boys in the band’. when you have finished with that movie, see another and another and another, and
then compare, you might as well think about comparisons, your going to do it anyways. Still struggling … listen
to some music, listen to all the people in music that are not totally out yet or who did not get a chance to come out …
Liberace and so on, or think of them when they were not out and what they could have accomplished if they had come out earlier
… Elton John, George Michaels and so on … compare again. How about listening to music that emotes a lot
… girl music or chick music … listen to music that brings out the emotional you … over and over and over.
And after you have done all of this … eat, go to a nice gay positive restaurant and look around you, bring a chaperone
if you feel you need one, and compare again.
7. Compare? Life is based on the subtle and less than
subtle comparisons we make with everyone around us, we compare us to them all of the time, we can’t help it although
we can and certainly do lie about doing it in the first place. This is in part why many people come out of the so called
closet, because they compare their closeted lives with those that they know who are not themselves closeted and they convince
those people that coming out will make them happier … will it? There are no guarantees, if you want a guarantee …
buy a toaster. For me, life is too short to be worried about what the next person is comparing me to, so yes, I would come
out, but in my own time and in my own way and that requires thought, so think about it, and in between, reread those books,
see a few movies, listen to some divas like Donna Summer (I’m a rainbow is nice) and have some dinner … no sense
in getting all fired up over all of this on an empty stomach.
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